Dear Sis, It hits differently when the feelings aren't mutual

I am head over heels loving a man who I believe knows and I am almost certain doesn’t feel the same way about me and it driving me nuts! Why does this happen. I fantasize, dream, get excited and sometimes tear eyed by the thought, vision or touch from the gorgeous creature. Why are we made to feel these emotions for someone who may not feel this way about us. FRIEND-ZONED sucks! Have I ever put someone there because if so I do apologize, this aching in my stomach I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

You notice I said LOVING a man and not IN-LOVE. Well to be honest I am not sure what in love means or feels like. Butterflies, well I feel that on a roller coaster. Dry mouth, also get that after I wake up and my mouth was open all night! Shyness, hmmmm!!

Being into a person hits different when either they have no idea you feel this way or they do know and the feeling isn’t mutual. Or what if he does and is scared to act on it! We have been around each other for quite awhile, you know my secrets, I know yours. We get upset when the other is hurt or does stupid shit. We play fight all the time and we push each other to be the greatest EVERYDAY! Why are we not together? Why don’t you see me as a contender? Why am I afraid to tell you how I feel? Why haven’t I taken the leap?

As of recently I have used this mantra in my head of when I am scared to do something. “Nipsey Hussle, Grammy nominated, self starter, successful business man, died suddenly but not before taking leaps, trusting the process and believing in himself, so why can’t I”.